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Ideas On How to Mess with a Scammer
MT
Ranger
in Zocalo v2.0
I'm going to be very busy this week with a group project and articles. That would be no big deal, but I just recieved a scam artist's email, and would like to mess with him, so creative input from others would be welcome. This is what he sent me:
FROM THE DESK OF MR PATRICK O. UDUTCHAY
UNIVERSAL TRUST BANK NIG. PLC
LAGOS - NIGERIA
ATTN: Ting,
With presumed reliance, let me introduce myself. I am MR PATRICK O. UDUTCHAY, Manager Bills and Treasury Department with the Universal Trust Bank of Nigeria Plc. I got your contact over the internet in my search for the relatives of one of our numerous customers who died accidentally alongside with his family having discovered that you share the same name.
In my branch, there is an abandoned sum of ($8.4M USD) Eight Million, Four hundred thousand United States Dollars in an account belonging to one of our foreign customers MR Fredrick ting an expartriate who died alongside with his entire family in November 1999 in a plane crash. Ever since then, I have been expecting his relatives or next of kin to come over and claim his money because it cannot be claimed unless somebody applies as his next of kin as indicated in our banking guide.
Unfortunately, I discovered that all his supposed next of kin (his wife and children) died with him over the plane crash incident. Over the years, I decided to look for the necessary papers relating to the deposit in order to make business out of it as the deposit was made in my branch. Now that all papers are ready, I am asking for your assistant to release the money to you as his relation for safe keeping and subsequent disbursement. You are being contacted because you share the same name with the deceased. Since nobody showed up for his money and I don't want it to go back into Federal Government account as unclaimed bill when the next audit is conducted. The banking law and guideline here stipulates that such money if remain unclaimed after maturity, will be transferred into banking treasury as unclaimed effect.
The request of a foreigner to act as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Nigerian cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner. You are most qualifeid in this transaction as you share the same name with the deceased.I am ready to negotiate the mode of sharing with you. I will visit your country for the disbursement/investing of my share according to the percentages we agreed upon after the successful transfer of the money to your account.
I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is 100% hitch-free and that there is absolutely no risk at all in this as I have concluded the modalities for a smooth operation and my position guarantees its successful execution. All I require is your honest co-operation, a guarantee of your sincerity and capability to enable us conclude this deal. Please due to the nature of this transaction, we advice that you maintain absolute confidentiality while it lasts. Trusting to hear from you immediately,
Best regards,
MR PATRICK O. UDUTCHAY
FROM THE DESK OF MR PATRICK O. UDUTCHAY
UNIVERSAL TRUST BANK NIG. PLC
LAGOS - NIGERIA
ATTN: Ting,
With presumed reliance, let me introduce myself. I am MR PATRICK O. UDUTCHAY, Manager Bills and Treasury Department with the Universal Trust Bank of Nigeria Plc. I got your contact over the internet in my search for the relatives of one of our numerous customers who died accidentally alongside with his family having discovered that you share the same name.
In my branch, there is an abandoned sum of ($8.4M USD) Eight Million, Four hundred thousand United States Dollars in an account belonging to one of our foreign customers MR Fredrick ting an expartriate who died alongside with his entire family in November 1999 in a plane crash. Ever since then, I have been expecting his relatives or next of kin to come over and claim his money because it cannot be claimed unless somebody applies as his next of kin as indicated in our banking guide.
Unfortunately, I discovered that all his supposed next of kin (his wife and children) died with him over the plane crash incident. Over the years, I decided to look for the necessary papers relating to the deposit in order to make business out of it as the deposit was made in my branch. Now that all papers are ready, I am asking for your assistant to release the money to you as his relation for safe keeping and subsequent disbursement. You are being contacted because you share the same name with the deceased. Since nobody showed up for his money and I don't want it to go back into Federal Government account as unclaimed bill when the next audit is conducted. The banking law and guideline here stipulates that such money if remain unclaimed after maturity, will be transferred into banking treasury as unclaimed effect.
The request of a foreigner to act as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Nigerian cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner. You are most qualifeid in this transaction as you share the same name with the deceased.I am ready to negotiate the mode of sharing with you. I will visit your country for the disbursement/investing of my share according to the percentages we agreed upon after the successful transfer of the money to your account.
I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is 100% hitch-free and that there is absolutely no risk at all in this as I have concluded the modalities for a smooth operation and my position guarantees its successful execution. All I require is your honest co-operation, a guarantee of your sincerity and capability to enable us conclude this deal. Please due to the nature of this transaction, we advice that you maintain absolute confidentiality while it lasts. Trusting to hear from you immediately,
Best regards,
MR PATRICK O. UDUTCHAY
Comments
Reply with something along the lines about how this was your great-uncle whom no-one's been able to contact since 1999. Make sure you type a long letter about how emotionally distraut you are to here about your uncle's untimely death.
At this point tell the "bank manager" you are not the least bit interested in his money, only to learn exactly what happened to your "uncle", where his remains are, and that you are interested in recovering them so they can receive a proper burial in your family plot in whereever.
Tell the scammer, that after you've learned more, you may be interested in recoving the money (got to make sure the scammer stays interested). Ask for evidence such as newpaper articles, gravesites, pictures of land owner by said uncle, just to waste his time...the whole time making sure you drop hints about recoveing the moneys.
Also start a new hotmail account to help keep your addy out of the hands of more scammers.
Jake
An angry reply may not work either as he/she may have wanted this reaction in the first place. Might be best to ignore them despite how SICK they are.
-Φ
Have you guys got any of the overseas Lottery ones? Where you have won 800 Million Euros or some stupid shit like that?
:rolleyes: