Issues with your account? Bug us in the chatroom at http://webchat.freenode.net?channels=#firstones

OT-Untitled plot synopsis.

WHY_oldWHY_old Elite Ranger
This is a quick synopsis of a story I've been working off and on for the past 3 years (well, technically only 2). Things will sound familiar, and comparisons will be made (IE: Ogan -> Vorlons is a pretty obvious one, but as the only alien species they make the story work), and maybe it just plain sucks... BUT THAT WON'T STOP ME ! *cackles*

backstory:

Our Story begins sometime about 2150, the human race, under the despotic earth concordat, has made it's first contact with an extraterestrial intelligence, the Ogani. A team of diplomats, mostly members of the military, are sent to meet their new neighbors. Two of them, Jilliana Orumov, a member of the intelligence corps, and Merrick Johnston of the concordat navy, will unknowingly be the beginning of humanity's next stage of evolution. Deals are made with the ogani, such as the establishment of a single isolated human colony in ogan space. but Johnston disappears mysteriously and Jilliana returns pregnant (with Johnston's child no less).

Time passes, and the exodus begins in 2175 after the concordat exiled millions of members of the Church of the Celestials (Working Name) to the outer colonies for their anti-government movement. Jilliana dies in the unrest, but her daughter, Katya, survives and is among the exiles settled in the Sirius system.
The concordat collapses soon after as unrest grows after the outrage of the exodus, and the modern states emerge; The United Terran Government, the Sirian (later Imperial) Republic, the Takeda corporate sector, the Al-Ellessar republic, the Celadon Republic, and the solaris free states (established in the 2270's after the Mineral wars between the UTG and Sirius).
After a long period of political stability and expansionism, the powers settle in their place, with the powerful Sirian Imperial Republic on one side, and the other nations allied on the other in the Council of Independent States (CIS) formed in 2273. The Sirians have always felt a certain hatred for the descendents of their former oppressors, the UTG)

The current Sirian Emperor is the rather moderate Constantine Valerian (Two Roman names...clever -ed). He has struggled to maintain the fragile peace between his nation and the other states, and wanted reconciliation with the "western" (because that's how they show up on the map, north being towards the rim) nations.

He had two heirs, Alexander in 2276, and Ariadne in 2278. But unfortunately, his first wife died soon after of natural causes. in 2281, Constantine married a relatively unknown woman from an obscure noble house, her name was Anastasia Feyth, she was a descendant of Jilliana Orumov.
Anastasia in turn bore constantine two more children, Darius soon after the marriage and finally Athena in 2282. Anastasia died soon after Athena was born in a rather mysterious shuttle accident.

Prologue:

Flash foreward to 2298, Athena Valerian is now 16 years old and under the teutelage of Cyrus Augustus on the strategically important naval base in the Polaris system. Traditionnaly all heirs to the Sirian throne are trained war as much as they are trained in academics (due to this, most sirian emperors were also great generals, or vice versa).

However, now she is nearly complete her training, excelling in both her martial and academic training, she will finish 2 years "early", surpassing her brother Alexander, who was the youngest to "graduate" at 18.

And to celebrate, her half-brother and sister are both coming to the station from Sirius to congradulate her. Alexander being a commander in the Navy, and Ariadne instead opting to attend the Corinth medical academy.
Darius, on the other hand, was taking his training closer to home, on the sirian capital of Olympus.

Unfortunately, at this time, Constantine is ill, and it hangs heavily on each of hteir minds.

Comments

  • WHY_oldWHY_old Elite Ranger
    (Any Comments on why it sucks/how to make it better/how not to rip off existing shows are welcome)


    To make things worse, just as Alexander and Ariadne arrive on the station, word arrives of a group of pirates lurking on the nearby convoy routes.

    Alexander, being who he is, voulunteers to lead the mission, and the commanding officer of the naval station and the entire 5th fleet stationed there, Admiral Cronus Argent, agrees.
    Alexander, with his escorts, take off to hunt the pirates, and Athena and Ariadne are both brought to the stations CIC while Cyrus is occupied elsewhere. Alexander makes contact soon after, there was an ambush, and contact is lost with alexander, his final words being "My god, what are they doing here... why are they shooting at us ?".

    Athena is in a state of shock, the person she most looked up to... dead. Ariadne was no better, she was grief stricken. A young officer by the name of Erech Lanthan offered to take them to their quarters, and on the way they are betrayed and kidnapped as a message from Admiral Argent is recieved. He talks about "no longer supporting those who will destroy the empire" and finishes by declaring a rebellion untill "all traitors to the empire will be destroyed".

    Meanwhile Athena and Ariadne wake up in a prison cell, Erech watching over them, taunting them. Ariadne looking as if she'd been beaten, or worse. Erech soon recieves a message, and pulls out his pistol, first pressing against Ariadne's temple as she begs for her life. He pulls the Trigger. Ariadne is dead, Athena can only watch as first her brother is lost, and then her sister is murdered before her eyes. She sits there in a state of shock as Erech now walks over to her, pressing his pistol to her temple... now she can only wait...

    but the bullet never comes.

    Erech is knocked unconcious by Cyrus, who had caught on to the plot and, in typical fashion, showed up at the right place at the right time.

    But Athena is still in a state of shock, she can only placcidly follow cyrus as he attemps to make their way to the spacedocks.
    But they are discovered before they can do anything of the sort. Cyrus is fatally wounded, but manages to throw Athena on one of the ships and programs the autolaunch and path to safety.
    but she slams against one of the bulkheads and quickly loses conciousness as the ship takes her to safety...
  • WHY_oldWHY_old Elite Ranger
    Athena wakes up as if from a dream, she finds herself on the floor of an airlock, she can only see open space out the window.

    and then the world suddenly comes back to her, she collapses on the floor in tears.

    Her time to grieve is short however, as a voice compells her to come to the bridge. She arrives and finds something totally unexpected. She finds MURAI, a prototype artificial intelligence designed to spy on the CIS (and generally raise havoc if need be). Murai tells her that in a short time, they WILL have company. several large contacts are on their way into their area, and their lack of Identification indicates they are pirates, Athena, still enraged after her brother's apparent death, is out for vengeance.

    Murai prods Athena to travel to the back of the ship, until she finds a massive armored combat frame* in the hangar bay.

    Athena launches, and finds that the ship she was on looked like nothing but a simple cargo-carrier, in contrast to the advanced technologies she saw inside.

    The pirates enter the area, and attack the ship with chop-job frames of their own.

    Athena is ble to quickly drive them off with her comparitively advanced frame, not thinking twice as she completely destroys one of the frames. Athena was no longer the scared 16-year-old girl she was only hours before, she was now Athena Valerian, Steely cold warrior, avenging angel.


    [i]*A Combat frame is a large humanoid mecha, generally about 20-30 feet tall and carrying as much weaponry as it can. Athena's frame in this story is the prototype AZX-08s Phalanx Special, which athena later dubbs "Seraphim". The types of frames differ by nation and tactics. Sirian frames are modular, IE: a ground combat frame can be refitted in a few short hours to be a space combat frame and vice versa.
    UTG frames follow the multi-mission philosophy prevalent in present day warfare.
    Celadon are expensive and high-tech, and are designed to work as an individual unit as opposed to in a squad.
    Al-Ellesar frames are old custom jobs, cheap but very reliable.
    Takeda frames are very cheap, mass-produced, excluding "Elite" frames used by corporate forces which follow the Celadon philosophy.[/i]

    [This message has been edited by WHY (edited 05-29-2002).]
  • WHY_oldWHY_old Elite Ranger
    When athena returned to the ship, she checked the comm traffic, paying close attention to Sirius's state controlled news networks.

    And hten immediately the report came the tore her soul to pieces. Her father was dead.

    Her father was murdered.

    The report said that Constantine was poisoned as he was recouperating from his illness, and that the assassin had been captured and summarily excecuted.

    The report also told of a failed assasination attempt on Darius's life, and of the successful ones on her and Alexander and Ariadne.

    [i]Athena was dead[/i]

    The screen showed the emperor to be vowing to bring those who killed his family to justice, beginning withe Admiral Argent, who narrowly escaped a great space battle at Polaris.

    Athena held no love for Darius, whether or not he was her brother. He was cruel to her as a child, and was similarly so as an adult.

    Athena thought to herself as the ship jumped to safety, away from the flaming wreckage of the pirate's carriers.

    [i]"Maybe it's best that I stay dead"[/i]
Sign In or Register to comment.