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Online Dating 101
Stingray
Elite Ranger
in Zocalo v2.0
I don't know what's wrong with the internet right now. I thought online dating would be the place to be these days. You'd think the female of our species would be more communicative because they are traditionally and stereotypically associated with the chatty side of our kind, but that is absolutely not true. I get hardly any responses from anyone. I try the subtle approach, nothing, I try the funny approach, nothing, I try the direct approach, nothing. All I get is deafening silence. Nothing, nada, nichts, rien. I feel like all I get is... :P
And when I do get messages, they are from women I never contacted in the first place and they are usually from the African continent, which is completely out of the question. I know long distance relationships are doomed from the start, I tried and it's nice for a few weeks but it's like having a pen pal you know you will never meet. What's the point, really? And then the others are like 10+ years older than me. What happened to my age group? (mid to late 30s)
While I am a bit past my prime, I don't have the ugliest mug in the line-up and I don't want to give up just yet but it is frustrating as hell. Any way you go about life, you are doing it wrong. I just don't get it. When you are a young stud, you don't have money, you don't have a car, you don't have a job, you don't have a house, you don't have chest hair (or whatever they like that you don't have)... and then when you do, oh, you are way too old! Move along grandpa!
WTF? I mean, really! WTFF! :angryv:
And when I do get messages, they are from women I never contacted in the first place and they are usually from the African continent, which is completely out of the question. I know long distance relationships are doomed from the start, I tried and it's nice for a few weeks but it's like having a pen pal you know you will never meet. What's the point, really? And then the others are like 10+ years older than me. What happened to my age group? (mid to late 30s)
While I am a bit past my prime, I don't have the ugliest mug in the line-up and I don't want to give up just yet but it is frustrating as hell. Any way you go about life, you are doing it wrong. I just don't get it. When you are a young stud, you don't have money, you don't have a car, you don't have a job, you don't have a house, you don't have chest hair (or whatever they like that you don't have)... and then when you do, oh, you are way too old! Move along grandpa!
WTF? I mean, really! WTFF! :angryv:
Comments
Although I've had a few what ended up being online penpals sort of thing. I get messaged from chicks in Canada and Alaska and we talk on IM, but obviously a relationship is out of order due to the distance. But I've had more online penpals from online dating than actual dates.
Are they by any chance asking for help with moving large sums of money?
Well, no, I never even let it get to that point. ;)
I did have a date a couple weeks ago already, so it's not like I don't know how to play the game. :)
Still, it's all so... sexual. I mean, I just want to chit-chat and why do I feel like they think I want to come onto them? It's just so silly.
Maybe I need to tweak my ad. :D
As for online dating. It's really down to luck since you have to rely upon there being people you're going to get along with living within an acceptable distance from you and using the site.
I'm only doing online dating in preparation of the real thing. I will be moving to my new home soon, so I will be busy with other matters.
I suppose being in a relationship is an ongoing deal, it is never really something to take for granted and it can end at any moment.
I tried online dating a couple of years ago, and I encountered much the same problems. Coupled with the fact that I'm not a naturally forward person, I soon gave up on online dating, much as I have dating in general these days. Sad but there you go
If you ever need the comfort of a cuddly beagle, I might be able to help out.
Regarding the thread topic, online dating can be a crapshoot. The key seems to be distributing yourself across different services and making the outbound attempt. Women are typically overwhelmed with creepers--Just writing in complete sentences and not asking for naked photos seems to be "going the extra mile." Through this apparently unique approach, I actually met a number of great people and had some excellent short-run relationships that were all-around satisfying. I also met a boatload of walking, talking crazy. I still think it ended well.
What I do dislike is posers, who advertise themselves as living in your area or region when clearly they don't. It is so dishonest that this behavior fails the basic requirement of a good relationship, which is trust. The risk is on both sides, I know, but there are certain lies that will come to light sooner or later.
Another thing is, that they are always short on cash to buy a plane ticket or pay the administrative fees which can add up to quite a sum, but this is one of the oldest tricks in the books to rip people off. I guess there must be quite a few that fall for this.
Either way, there are sharks in the waters and one has to be careful.
One recent high-profile case in NZ involved drugs. The woman agreed to visit the man in London. At the last minute, he asked her to go via Argentina and pick up a suitcase for him (or something along those lines). He even paid for the change in her ticket. Unfortunately for her, when she tried to leave Argentina with the suitcase, the airport security searched it and found a large quantity of drugs.
Best of luck friend!
I met Peter through online dating and I've had really good luck with it.
Care to share your profile Stingray?
I agree with Sanfam, complete sentences is a must! As weird and frustrating as it might sound, I think girls can tell when you are really trying and you should stop trying. Keep up a profile but don't check it every single second and focus on something else you like in the mean time. It'll come.
If anything, the online dating game will get me some experience in dealing with the opposite gender. I tweaked my ad and got a new message on that same evening. I guess being serious and mature about this is the way to go. :)
Sorry Dax, I'd rather not share my profile, I don't want you to get into trouble because of me. ;)
Chatting and such. Actually even made a new friend!
Not actually using it for looking for dates, as most of them are not from finland, even tho i did try to contact few.. and not looking for any more long distance.
But yea, where could one find a nice geek girl.. damnit.
Experience tells me there is some truth in this comment. In college I had a hard time meeting members of the opposite sex. So near the end of college, I just told myself not to worry about it any more, if I go to partys I go to have fun, not to meet a woman. If I am out and about, its to relax and enjoy myself, not to meet woman, etc, etc, etc.
Turns out within a few weeks I met the woman who became my wife at a neighbours party. Since I took the pressure off myself to meet someone, it made it a hell of a lot easier to sit down and talk with her, because my mind wasn't immediately running toward so end goal. Since I really didn't care whether or not I got a date, I was much more relaxed and more myself.
Jake
Neither have I, Worf, but I know of instances where marriages did not happen because of in-laws not getting along. So it does happen.
[QUOTE=Lord Refa;193255]I put myself on friends.jlist.com[/QUOTE]
All I got from jlist is a one-month fling with a scam artist. :D
All in all, it's just safer and more sensible to stick with the local gene pool because you can actually meet the person face to face. Even if you are into the exotic type, you may find someone to your liking in your immediate region... unless you live in a remote area with a low population density of course.
[URL="http://gizmodo.com/5809560/how-to-set-up-the-perfect-online-dating-profile?tag=top"]Link[/URL]
Fast forward a year and he invited me on a spring break camping trip with him and his friends. My boyfriend at the time was off in Vegas with his sister for that week, although that relationship was in name only at that point. Stuff happened, I finally dumped that loser, and 5 years latter we are happily domestic partnered.
Short story: Online Dating has DRAMA!
Of course, unlike women, I don't ask about people's days or backgrounds. I'm surprised how much I learned about mom and dad when Yvette asked them stuff I never even thought of.