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RAGE: warning: bitching
Dax
Redshirt
in Zocalo v2.0
So, I found out tonight that apparently that no good son of a bitch ex of mine slept with another girl to try and get over me last week.
Apparently she's a total nut case and he totally got burned but I am still *totally hurt* about it.
I was on my way downtown tonight when my friend told me.
And here I was feeling guilty about posting a profile on an online dating thingy yesterday. The gall!
I am really disappointed cause I am now feeling regret instead of a warm "that was awesome and sucky that it didn't work out but it's still ok" kinda feeling...
I have a few guys in mind that I have/had that warm feeling with and the others are just disappointments. I really didn't want to put someone I was considering marriage with in that disappointment category but it seems that that's where he's gone.
I have no experience with dating guys in the same town, for the last 8-10 years there was only one where I was really in the same town (I had a knack for finding people not around me or at home while I was away) and the fucker cheated on me when I went home for Spring Break (on Valentine's Day no less!) so this whole living across the street thing has really fucked me over.
I am moving at the end of the month and I am fucking glad to get away from him. I feel awkward being around him and now it's going to be worse that I know what he did (but I am not supposed to know so it's not like I can just walk across the street and slap him in the face).
Anyway, I knew it was going to happen to one of us sooner or later, perhaps I am just mad that he beat me to the punch or something. Bah.
I can't figure out if I am angry or jealous or sad or what, I really hate emotions I can't understand. The fact that I am just getting back from dancing and having a few drinks probably doesn't help. \\
Yeah I am going out again tomorrow night (yay long weekend!), we'll see what happens...
Are there men out there that are a) available in my time zone and b) not total scum bags? Can I have one? Pleeeease?
Apparently she's a total nut case and he totally got burned but I am still *totally hurt* about it.
I was on my way downtown tonight when my friend told me.
And here I was feeling guilty about posting a profile on an online dating thingy yesterday. The gall!
I am really disappointed cause I am now feeling regret instead of a warm "that was awesome and sucky that it didn't work out but it's still ok" kinda feeling...
I have a few guys in mind that I have/had that warm feeling with and the others are just disappointments. I really didn't want to put someone I was considering marriage with in that disappointment category but it seems that that's where he's gone.
I have no experience with dating guys in the same town, for the last 8-10 years there was only one where I was really in the same town (I had a knack for finding people not around me or at home while I was away) and the fucker cheated on me when I went home for Spring Break (on Valentine's Day no less!) so this whole living across the street thing has really fucked me over.
I am moving at the end of the month and I am fucking glad to get away from him. I feel awkward being around him and now it's going to be worse that I know what he did (but I am not supposed to know so it's not like I can just walk across the street and slap him in the face).
Anyway, I knew it was going to happen to one of us sooner or later, perhaps I am just mad that he beat me to the punch or something. Bah.
I can't figure out if I am angry or jealous or sad or what, I really hate emotions I can't understand. The fact that I am just getting back from dancing and having a few drinks probably doesn't help. \\
Yeah I am going out again tomorrow night (yay long weekend!), we'll see what happens...
Are there men out there that are a) available in my time zone and b) not total scum bags? Can I have one? Pleeeease?
Comments
Anyways.. My first girlfriend and I.. we separated after she fucked around. She was good in bed and to me, good looking, but well, that's the way it usually goes for me in love life. And in a way, I am glad it happened.. cuz I was more free to pursue other girls now that I got some self-esteem and travel more broadly.
And on the record, I am cute, cuddly, sweet and charming.. It's just that my life experiences have made my cynical inside and I do have the tendency to lie because that's the way I see people treat me all the time...
Glad I dont have to do that in here. I think I am most "normal" here. And meaning normal as in my most base level. I have other personalities for other places.
And after thinking about it last night and stuff I have come to the conclusion that I am hurt about it. It's not really fair for me to be angry at him since he was taking care of himself. I am hurt because it's really the last nail in the coffin. Not that I was going to give him anymore chances but since I broke up with him I thought that I would be in control but in reality I can't control what anyone else does.
I think the lesson that I've learned about all of this is really you can't judge anyone except for their actions (no matter what they say) and even if they promise the moon, unless they deliver, don't let them into your pants. :P
I have no skills in chasing myself, so what the hell.. if someone wants me, for some reason that I can not figure out myself, then why not..
I think it should be "don't let them into your heart". 'cause that's when the real trouble starts...
OK, try manual you stupid BB...
[quote]another lesson I have learned: heart != pants[/quote]
Most definatly not!
[QUOTE=Dax;163370]I am hurt because it's really the last nail in the coffin. Not that I was going to give him anymore chances but since I broke up with him I thought that I would be in control but in reality I can't control what anyone else does.[/QUOTE]
This is probably the truth. I know I would have been hurt, but what other people do, is what other people do. Dont permit yourself to be dissapointed in them. The only person you can be dissappointed in is yourself, and I know you shouldnt be.
Hmmm. Haven't been on a date in four years. Only had one girlfriend and she dumped me, any other woman that ever finds out I'm interested in her seems to act like she just found out she has leprosy. In a way though, it's actually kind of funny. Oh well, someday I'll probably just have a mental breakdown and turn into Cable Guy.
My love life is usually a total ruin, although apparently for the last 4 months its only been that way because I've been to stupid to know otherwise. Now I'm seeing said girl and am having to pinch myself periodically to make sure I'm not dreaming.
Sorry, thats probably not making you feel any better ;)