"Real life" update... Disclaimer: emo, bitching

Dax

Well life on the real side has been quite turbulent for me lately to say the least.
My computer decided after working for a few days that it doesn't even want to start in safe mode anymore so I have to call Dell and hopefully I can get it all straightened out (once I stop dragging my heels about it).

My shoulder has been sucking since NY and has recently (because of more stress I think) come back for a full time blow out. Working on that one with massage therapy and stuff but who knows.

Stress in my life that contributes to this: no full time job yet, no place to live for Sept yet, and I posted this on live journal yesterday:

No full time permanent job.
No place to live yet for Sept.
No fully functional shoulder.
and now... no boyfriend.


Definitely no self worth either.

There have been several things here and there that have pissed me off about Nathan. He's done some pretty selfish things but I thought they would just be growing pains because of my return/adjustment to home. Turns out, I am growing, he's not. I was torn between growing up and trying to relax but in the end I really must continue to grow.
Yesterday, after a few hours of crying- we're done.

I now think my shoulder pain is from stress more certainly because after spending everyday this week crying and crying sobbing for about an hour into my pillow last night, I think the pain in my shoulder has come to a head and is on its way down.

Worst week ever? yeah, I think so.


So yeah... how are you guys doing?

Freejack

Been there, done that on the whole breaking up because of differing levels a maturity...in that case I was the one "not" growing. It took me three years post-relationship to realize that, and it took me two more to realize it was for the best. All in all, it probably took me 6 or 7 years to be the person it would have taken to make the relationship work, and I am glad it did, otherwise I would have never met my beautiful wife...

Jake

Entil'Zha

Sorry to hear about all your troubles Dax, I understand the whole shoulder thing, after 10 years of not seeing a doctor about mine, i finally went to see one, he didn't like that he could hear the crunching from across the room, so Monday evening i get to go to Pain and Torture (physical therapy for those who've never had it)

i dont see how that is going to help, as i've been doing range of motion exercises for 10 years and it hasn't helped...

So anyway, yes, we were talking about you... :) just remember, even if it doesn't seem like it, Everything happens for a reason and things tend to work themselves out. A wise man once said, "Faith Manages" so keep the faith.

croxis

*hugs*

JackN

Well...

I have a full time job.
My back keeps going out at work.
My dog's hip is out.
We need the money.

:p

Space Ghost

Well, I know it won't make you feel any better, but I have been in (almost) the same situation you are in at one time or another. All I can say is that when you least expect it, things take a turn for the better.

I hope it all works out for you, but just remember to stay positive (easier said than done, I know) and rely on your friends... even the ones on the internet. :)

ShadowDancer

That does indeed suck Dax :(

have a hug to cheer you up! :)

*hug*

Stingray

Don't give up, we all have down times. Try not to dwell on the negative things. It just so happens that you have had several bad things happen to you all at once and thus it's understandable that you feel depressed. Don't blame yourself, it's not easy to get a job, and even harder to get one you actually like. You are not alone and it's probably not your fault and some jobs are really not worth the trouble.

Keep looking and sending out applications. It's just the nature of the beast. Talk to people, human contact is still the most important way to get a job.

SpiritOne

While I have never been much for faith, or fate, I do think that we are defined by our actions, and how we perceive ourselves. But you don't have to go it alone, you have your friends to help you.

As for the walking wounded...
I will join in, my knee has been aching again, I have been hesitant to go to the doctor, I really don't want another surgery. If they couldnt fix it right the first two times, what are they going to do now?

Mundane

Most stuff is okay...got summer vacation from work now, three weeks without any work :)

Going to Rhodes (Greece) tomorrow, though alone, for a week. Hopefully there is a lot of wind so I can go kiteboarding most of the days, if not, I need to find something to do. Would have been nice to go with someone else...

Biggles

You need to get your computer fixed as priority #1. Then, you can come to IRC and whine at us about the other problems all the time! ;)

WORF

Biggles is right :)

Worf

Sanfam

Thirded. Plus, bonus hugs.

[I]*hugs*[/I] :)

Alaric

*hugs*

Chaosed

I remember being that age, those problems. It made me stronger. By stronger I mean a little more sociopathic.

JackN

Now I face having to put my dog to sleep. Crap...

It's just getting better...

:(

Dax

Thanks for all of the kind words guys.

Biggles, Worf, Sanfam- I think you are right. BUT, shoulder Dr. Appt first, then getting my compy fixed... I just really hope my warranty hasn't run out on my Dell.

Trident

Ok comming from the board's manic depressive, it will get better. It has to... right? I mean... well... It should... I.... 100 hours of work does wonders... now I just have to sew my name in all my clothes to remember what it is... I think. Anyway, just think of it this way. I'm a manic depressive, on no drugs, and still here, and gave up suicide. Just working myself to death! Ya... anyway... Loss has become my friend, or is that the saying that keep your friends close and your enemies closer type enemy friend... ok. Yes I am on wayyyy too much caffine right now. It just can't get worse, there always is a springboard on the bottom! Unless you hit to one side or the other, but then we all have great medical coverage! Oh wait, this is the USA... ok um... finding a punching bag helps, or nailing people in halo! Jumping on someone yelling kamakazi and tossing a plasma nade on their ass always gives me a laugh! Or better yet, get Jedi academy. Turn on the cheat mode, spawn hundreds of jawa's around and start slaughtering them, or just start spawning them over a lava pit, or spawn a whole platoon of stormtroopers and a couple rancors to watch them be slaughtered by the whole lot! I better shut up now....

**super big hugs!!!**

In Between

*HUGS*

Hey Dax
Watch horror movies. I always feel better after a good horror movie.:)

croxis

As does some self love. And ice cream, in whatever order you choose

Biggles

Well, now that we know how croxis spends his evenings, only one question remains. Did we really want to?

Dax

Update: Nathan claimed that he loved me, he wanted to marry me (and apparently had a 'plan' for sometime in the future to propose), gave me a nice promise ring in July and yet... it's been a mere week (we fought Sunday and last Wed was a last talk resort that didn't work) and he's apparently looking for dating on his facebook again.

I am sorry but if you really love someone that seriously, it's going to take longer than a fucking week to get back into the dating scene. A week!? Give me a break.

I am really really hurt.

I almost went over to the house last night to borrow a frying pan (I still need to buy one) but I wasn't brave enough. This information is enough to keep me away for a long time still.

*sigh* I remember how I felt when we started dating and I remember why I fell in love with him, but a part of me now doesn't believe a word he said.

----------------------------------------

Are there any men out there that really aren't scum?

Trident

Yes there is. My departed wife had me, and she never could have asked for anyone better. But I will have to say, lots, and lots of men do just plain suck (No offense to the guys here). It's just really hard to find someone that is just the way that will treat you right. My sister married a guy that's simmular to my dad (god help her). I never dated much, hell my departed wife was my third girlfriend ever. I had my heart really stompped by a girl in high school, made me so mad I hated women for 2 years. It's good that he left ya Dax, I mean he's already trying to date now... what a jerk. If he did marry you, he probably would have been cheating on ya. Good riddens to the punk. If I was you, I would have went over, got that frying pan, and slammed it over his head. But that's not advisiable, but it's a good fantasy for payback. I didn't trying to start finding a date for 2 years after my wife passed away. And then, havn't really been on one yet either, just making friends. Okies I better shut the yap up. It will get better! You deserve soo much better!

Entil'Zha

What Trident says is spot on, if he could move on this fast, then it's a good thing you didn't marry him, while it may hurt now, i'ts prolly best in the long run,

Stingray

[QUOTE=Dax;162497]Are there any men out there that really aren't scum?[/QUOTE]

Well, you see, that depends entirely on your belief in intelligent design or the theory of evolution.

I don't know if all men are scum, I know I am not, but that doesn't mean I am necessarily compatible with a nice woman. In your case it sure looks like he wasn't in it for the long term, or perhaps his family had objections. In a way you don't just marry your partner, but also his or her family and often they don't get along and this puts your relationship to the test. Even if you don't feel like it now, you may have gotten away from a bad relationship. On thing I've noticed is that there is not point in rushing things, I've seen too many marriages go bust to believe otherwise.

Anyway, that's my view, but I may be wrong since I'm still "happily unmarried." (C) John Cleese.:D

Dax

His family loved me, his best friend's mother bought me groceries :P
He also didn't dump me, I broke up with him. Funny that... I've basically chosen to close the book on the whole thing now and label him as "too immature". I feel slightly betrayed because he shouldn't have said those things if he couldn't follow through but I guess that comes with immaturity.
I had a chat with my sister and she said that I need to find someone more on "my level"... now if I could only figure out what that is :P

Trident: thanks.

Stingray

"On your level" in English means for a woman, someone older. But that's also a stereotype, age doesn't always factor into this. Stupid comes in all kinds of packages. :D

See, that's the problem, when the future in-laws love you, then there's obviously something wrong... like he doesn't deserve you and such, even though it's also a cliché, if your partner is unfit, then what good are the in-laws? (Unless they are filthy rich of course.) :D

Entil'Zha

Someone on your level? well knowing you, Go to ComicCon, find a nice geek, we're not scum, lol

Messiah

*Hugs Dax*

People do tend to suck. Just keep those who dont close to ya, and hopefully things will turn out for the better.

Dax

Entil'Zha: ROFL. Perhaps I should get outta here... we'll see...

Sanfam

Come to Rochester. It's like Canada, but laced with American subculture! Also, we Tim Horton's.